Intro

Remember that on this website, I don’t only share positive vibes. I share my life and my experience through it. Sometimes, seeing someone suffering gives you more suffering than them, and you try to understand them. Life is not an easy place to live. You gotta go through it, live till the end, give up your body, and finally be free and meet something new. Completely something new.

In this article, I am going to share what I witnessed in Dangarapolis when I was 11 years old, in 5th grade, at School No. 56 of Dangara District.

Quiet Day

I went to school as usual, like nothing had happened. Classes, running, playing with classmates. What a beautiful time that I didn’t cherish enough. Yellow skyline, particles of sand carried by the wind, notebooks full of text, game discs, just a pure, pure experience of childhood.

But when you think that the day is usual like any other, something quietly goes wrong somewhere else. You are living your normal day while somewhere nearby, another family might be experiencing one of the worst days of their entire life. You just don't know it yet.

Bad News

In 5th grade, we were divided into four groups: 5A, 5B, 5C, and 5D. For the purposes of anonymity, I will not share the name of the guy from another group. This same guy had a little brother, and the time when I received the news from others was either close to Nowruz, at the end of it, or around Eid, either Adha or Fitr. I honestly don’t remember the exact timing anymore.

When I heard the news, I looked for this guy, and I saw him devastated. We expressed our condolences to him when it happened. At that age, I understood that something terrible had happened, but I don't think I fully understood the weight of what I was seeing.

But what exactly happened? That was the question in my head.

Spoiled

The guy’s little brother, according to unofficial sources and rumors, was a spoiled child. At least, that’s what people would say unless something was different. At the time, I would usually believe the rumors. I was a kid. I didn’t have enough experience to question everything I heard.

But I don’t know if it was actually true or not. God knows. Looking back at it now, I understand that children often repeat what they hear without knowing the full story, and I was no different. So I don't want to present a childhood rumor as an established fact.

What stayed with me was not whether the child was actually spoiled or not. What stayed with me was what happened afterwards and how something that seemed so small from the outside could end with something so serious.

Suicide

This little brother took his own life by hanging himself inside a toilet room because, according to what we heard, the family did not provide him with a small amount of money he wanted to spend during the holiday celebration. What do you think was the reaction of the parents when they saw the body? And why did the child decide to take such an extreme measure? That was unknown to me.

But after this happened, the authorities quickly reacted. They invited parents first, I think, to talk about what had happened, not only those exact parents but the whole school community. They also held a conversation with us, kids, teenagers, and grown-ups.

They mentioned that being spoiled is something we can notice and observe in ourselves before anyone else. They would give us instructions to understand whether we were becoming spoiled. Specifically, they would mention that if we had uncontrollable rage because we didn’t get what we wanted and then fell into depression, that could be a sign of unhealthy emotional dependence on getting what we wanted. They encouraged us to talk to our parents and not stay silent, because silence would not help anyone. They also mentioned that kids cannot demand something that is outside the financial power of their parents.

But how much was the amount of money those exact parents didn’t give the child? I think and believe it was somewhere around 5 to 10 or maybe 20 TJS, which would have been roughly 0.5, 1, or 2 dollars at the time. Can you imagine that? From an adult perspective, that sounds like almost nothing. But from the perspective of a child, especially a child who does not yet understand the value of money, emotions, consequences, or the permanence of death, a small problem can sometimes become an enormous problem.

The kid wasn’t smart enough to get back from this road, or maybe he was too late to rethink everything when the process had already started. No one saw him. Everything went quiet. Super quiet.

The Psychology Behind It

There is something important about childhood psychology here. Children do not always understand problems in the same proportion that adults do. Something that looks insignificant to an adult can feel enormous to a child because their world is much smaller. If your entire world is school, your parents, your friends, games, holidays, and the small things you want, then losing one of those things can temporarily feel like losing everything.

A child may not yet have the emotional experience to think, “This is painful today, but in five years I probably won’t even remember it.” That ability to place today's problem into a bigger timeline comes with experience and emotional development. Adults usually have more reference points because they have already survived hundreds of problems that once felt impossible.

This is one reason why communication matters so much. A child needs someone who can help them understand that an emotion can be extremely strong without being permanent. The feeling is real, but the situation creating that feeling can change. Sometimes children simply need an older person to help them see beyond the current moment.

The Psychology of a Small Trigger

Sometimes the visible trigger is not the entire story. A few dollars, a game, a phone, an argument, a punishment, or being told “no” can look like the reason something happened. But human behavior is rarely that simple. There can be frustration, impulsiveness, emotional immaturity, family problems, fear, shame, or other things that nobody else knows about.

That is why I want to be careful with this story. I was 11 years old when I witnessed the aftermath, and much of what I knew came from other people. I did not know what was happening inside that child's mind, and I do not know the complete circumstances of his family. So I cannot honestly say that the money alone was the complete reason.

What I can say is that this experience stayed with me. It taught me how dangerous it can be when a temporary emotional state becomes stronger than a person's ability to imagine the future. The trigger might look small to everyone else, but the emotional state behind it can be much larger.